5 Ways to Trust Yourself - When I Grow Up

5 Ways to Trust Yourself - When I Grow Up This is the very last post on The Declaration of Yous Blog Lovin Tour   canyastandit?! Because this weeks topic is Trust, I want to rerun a post that I wrote 4(!) years ago, but is still entirely relevant today. In fact, a bunch of it made it into the Trust chapter of the book. I really hope it helps you in the here now. I don’t trust myself. OK, that’s not entirely true. I trust that I’m driven. I trust that I’m smart. I trust that I’m personable. I trust that I’m loved. I trust that I’m liked. But there are things that I don’t trust. I’ve conditioned myself to not trust them. Don’t trust that great audition! You probably won’t get a callback. Don’t trust the kick-ass callback! You probably won’t get the part. Don’t trust! It’s too scary. Trust disappointment, instead. I don’t trust that “it” will happen because I will it to. I don’t trust The Secret. I don’t trust that everything will work out. I don’t trust that I know the things I should (I hate that word!) know. I don’t trust anything beyond my control. And therefore….I don’t trust myself. But what I realized, sitting figuratively starting fires with Danielle LaPorte   20 other kick-ass women last month, is that I know everything I need to in order to continue on my journey. No, I don’t have a crystal ball, but at 31 years 10 months old (exactly, as I write this), I’ve succeeded, I’ve failed, I’ve loved, I’ve hurt, I’ve lost I’ve gained. I could go into details but really…that’s the gist. What I see now in my crystal ball (maybe I do have one!) is this community I’ve built. MichelleLand consists of not only the people I know love, but people I trust, some whom I see daily some whom I’ve never met. I realize I know everything I need to know, and if I don’t know it, I know someone who does, or someone who can find me someone who does. So y’know what I did when I left that Fire Starter session? I taped this vlog, then I went home unsubscribed from every newsletter by any person that didn’t live in MichelleLand. I signed up for a trillion of them when I launched When I Grow Up, coming to the conclusion that These People (y’know, the ones who Know Things) will tell me everything I should know. And it made me cluttered slightly crazy. It sucked my time my brain my energy. I was done listening to what I should know. I vowed to move forward trusting what I do know, asking for help with what I didn’t. And that’s made me see that everything that unfolds from this point on comes from trusting in MichelleLand. I can believe in the people that make up MichelleLand, and that makes me believe that I’m worthy of this trust, too. Here are some ways to start trusting yourself: Think of who lives in YourNameHereLand. Danielle calls it members of your tribe â€" people that see the world the same as you do, even though they probably have different personality traits or different skills sets. Who do you want in Your Tribe? Make a list of the 50 people that get a seat on the bus going to YourNameHereLand, why. You’ll soon see who’s part of your community, the traits that new people need to get a seat on the next ride. Make a list of all the things you’re telling yourself you should know about Your Project or Your Goal. If you can’t replace the word “should” with “want” or “need”, cross it off the list. That’s coming from an outsider they’re not the boss of you. Then, next to each item that remains, write the reason behind why you think you “should” or “want” or “need to” know that. If it’s anything close to, “Because I need to or else I’ll fail!”, cross it off the list. That’s just you thinking you need to know something, it’s baloney.   If the reason is something else (ie “I want to know how to knit because I’d love to make something homemade special for my baby niece”), then write down all the people who can help you learn. Then, ask for help. If that’s scary, offer to barter: a knitting lesson from your colleague in exchange for a make-up lesson from you. How is that not a win-win? Make it fun, so it’s fail-proof. I’m working on a super top secret project that stemmed from the need, the want, the desire to collaborate with 3 other women who I admire to death (note from present Michelle: it was Spring!). We formed an idea that has the potential to take the interwebs by storm. But if it doesn’t? If my Mom’s the only one that jumps on our bus? OK, I won’t lie say we won’t be disappointed, but I know it’s going to be a huge learning experience, a huge amount of fun, no matter the outcome. It’s been fun fleshing this out. It’s been fun putting it together. It’s been fun getting to know an incredible group of smart, ambitious, creative, funny women. There is no “failing” with this project. It’s just not possible. It’s too much fun. Envision yourself living the dream. I know it’s hippy-dippy of me, but I don’t care. I allow myself to see myself in Complete Success Land. I know what I eat, and how I feel, and how I look, where I go, who I see. Do that for yourself. Often. If that doesn’t cut it, make a vision board of it put it someplace you see at least twice a day. Let yourself look at it. Daydream. Decide you don’t believe in jinxes or bad luck. There’s no such thing. It was never invented. Me? I’m a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop girl. Something good just happened? Dont’ trust it! Something bad is right around the corner. And y’know what? I look for the Bad Thing, I always find it. Always. What happens when you stop looking? I know it’s tough. I know it’s scary. I know it’s weird, even. But I do know that, as artists who feel that Disappointment Vampire looming, learning to trust yourself is a key to your success. A key to your happiness. Don’t you want to give yourself that key? Click here  to get deets on joining us for the last week of our Blog Lovin’ Tour + the link to the Trust video Jess I made with bonus content. You can also click here  to get info on the first Declaration of You Day on Saturday (it’s free!). Also also, as always, leave your comments below! Do you think Trust is easier said than done? Are you optimistic or pessimistic about it? I’d love to hear from ya!